5:21-33

How was the culture of the Ephesians like ours today? How was it different?

What does it mean to submit to one another? Notice that while Paul admonishes a wife to submit to her husband, he also says that the two are one flesh (5:31-32).

Ladies: How do you feel about verses 22-24? Guys: How do you feel about the standards in 25-33? Both: Which role is more difficult-the one prescribed for men or women? What experiences or parts of our culture make it hard to understand/obey these verses? How do these roles demonstrate our need to live filled with the Spirit (18)? Do these verses make marriage easier or harder?

From what we understand from these verses, what advice would you give a young Christian about marrying someone who is not a believer? How should these verses change the way people in our culture date? What should a man/woman be looking for as they pursue a spouse?

Notice how Paul wraps everything up in 5:33. Does a wife submitting to a husband make him feel respected? Does a husband loving a wife make her feel secure? Some psychologists say there are primary needs in men in women. Do you think that’s true?

6:1-4

How do TV shows today depict the relationship between parents and children? Does this reflect general cultural values?

What is expected of children here? What two motivations does Paul list? What is the significance of the phrase “in the Lord” (1)? As a child, is verse 3 more of a threat or a promise?

Cultural Notes: In ancient Greco-Roman society, the father had complete control of the family–including the right to kill a child even when the child was an adult (although this was rarely invoked). If a father sold a child into slavery and the child earned or was granted their freedom, the father could sell them back into slavery if he wanted. In the case of divorce, the children stayed in the father’s household. In Jewish culture, the Hebrew Scriptures allowed for execution of a disobedient child (cf. Leviticus 20:9; Deuteronomy 21:18-21).

What two motivations does Paul give Fathers?

If you have children (or plan to have kids), how will you apply verse 4? If your children are grown, how have you grown in your understanding of this verse? As an adult, how should we apply this to our parents now? Doewas it still apply? How does it change with age?

Does Paul’s view uphold or contradict the thoughts of his culture?

Excurses: Do you think Christianity elevated or demeaned the status of women and children in ancient Roman Society?

Occasionally I have written for a few other places–including a blog for young adult ministry. Here’s something I wrote for them earlier this month:

After traveling around the Northeast with other young adults to explore different young adult ministries, I came to a conclusion: Young adult ministry is small group ministry. Despite the great preaching we heard, every successful ministry we visited used small groups to build community. I’m sure someone will find a young adult ministry somewhere that has been successful in the long term without developing small groups, but as a rule, they are essential to forming young adults into disciples.

Dallas Willard observes in The Great Omission, “As much as I believe in the power of preaching for conviction and decision, I would be naive to believe that preaching alone produces disciples. If preaching could produce disciples, the job of making disciples would be done.”¹ Community is necessary for spiritual growth and it’s part of the answer to making disciples—but just forming small groups of people will not create the life-change. The New Testament specifies no particular structure of small groups for the Church. Small groups are not essential for their structure but for the life produced in them. Building community in the local church is not essential because of a perceived social need, but because it is the life God intends for His followers as Christ transforms their lives.

While small groups form the backbone of most successful young adult ministries, small groups of people are not inherently spiritual. One of our local papers publishes an annual guide containing all kinds of small groups to join. You can walk the mall, wear red hats to dinner, and learn to knit or play folk music with others. I’ll admit that I’ve never actually gone to any group in the guide. While there are undoubtedly believers in some of these groups, they are not Christian Communities. What makes Christian small groups spiritual is that we celebrate Christ in our midst. In our young adult small groups and in one-on-one discipling relationships, we’ve noticed that young adults are hungry for spiritual food and in depth Bible study. We need to be careful to create opportunities for them to grow spiritually—giving them more than they can find in a local knitting group. Jesus must be the center of our community if we want to create life-giving communities of faith.

So, how do we form groups centered around Jesus? Here are a few questions to think through as we move in the right direction: Do we pray about what our groups need to study? Or do we choose coolest thing without thinking about where the group is spiritually and what they need to grow? Are we stuck moving from one curriculum to the next and dealing topically with books of the Bible? Should we take a break from curriculum and consider studying a book of the Bible in depth?

1. Dallas Willard, The Great Omission: Reclaiming Jesus’ Essential Teachings on Discipleship (San Francisco: Harper Collins, 2006), 5-6. [↩]

Since I have been working on a large writing project (which I will share when it’s finished), I have not been blogging much. But I came across the blog here and thought I’d pass this along.

I can’t help but read this and think about Jesus when he encounters Matthew at his tax collector’s booth (Matthew 9:9-13). I doubt Matthew had ever thought that Jesus would want to come, eat and hang out with him. My guess is there are few cultures, if any, that love tax collectors. I’m also guessing that there are a lot of people who don’t feel like “religious people” would be interested in them. So, I imagine Matthew was as shocked and surprised as the religious elite were. When criticized by the religious people for hanging out with the “wrong people” another time, Jesus replied with this story:

Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. (Luke 15:4-7)

I wonder sometimes if we, as the Church, are pursuing people like Jesus pursues people? To make it more personal…if you’re a follower of Christ, are you pursuing people with the love and compassion that Jesus pursues people?

I’m hoping to take some time off soon. As I do, I’ll be looking for new communities of faith (churches) to visit. And, if the pastors are agreeable, I’m hoping to do some more interviews. I am formulating some new lines questions instead of focusing on preaching this year. (Although, it might be fun to interview some churches with video venues and satellite campuses.) If you have any suggestions for churches I should check out–especially in the Northeast–let me know. (I can travel outside of the Northeast, but my travel budget is limited.) Please leave comments, email of Facebook me.